Grandma Versus The Toddler

Posted By on October 1, 2011

To me, the thing about birthday parties is that the first birthday party you have and the last birthday party you have are actually quite similar. You know, you just kinda sit there… you’re the least excited person at the party. You don’t even really realize that there is a party. You don’t know what’s going on. Both birthday parties, people have to kinda help you blow out the candles, you can’t do it… you don’t even know why you’re doing it. What is this ritual? What is going on? It’s also the only two birthday parties where other people have to gather your friends together for you. Sometimes they’re not even your friends. They make the judgement. They bring ’em in, they sit ’em down, and they tell you – “these are your friends! Tell them thank you for coming to my birthday party”. ~Jerry Seinfeld

Ain’t it the truth! I’ve come to realize there are many similarities between the beginning of our life and the end. Grandma and a toddler both:

Have a short attention span
Get cranky without a nap
Eat a lot of soft foods
Like to wear jewelry but need help with the clasps
Want me to hold their hand crossing the street
Have to let someone else fasten their seat belt
Speak their own language, making up words for things
Don’t understand pop culture
Sometimes wet their pants

Can you think of some more? 🙂

About The Author

I'm a humor columnist writing about bad luck, being a klutz, cars that hate me, having kids, life and love. Style of writing is like a cross between Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry LOL


9 Responses to “Grandma Versus The Toddler”

  1. Sharon says:

    So funny, Marti.
    I still recognize my birthday, but those other items fit.
    Can we add: Need help tying shoes and picking things up from the floor.

  2. Sheila says:

    Had a good laugh over this. I love it! It’s so true. Another similarity is having things explained to you even when you don’t need it and people talk to you in a slow pace.

  3. Annie says:

    Thanks man for that text. It was trully interesting. I’m adding your blog to my RSS agregator.

  4. Jeannine says:

    That’s a great article. We would like to say thanks for sharing your idea’s. I will for sure bookmark your page.

  5. Ines says:

    Hey! This post could not be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Hope you are having a great Thanksgiving weekend Marti!

    I wanted to let you know that I am getting a message: “The version of CommentLuv on this site is no longer supported. Please update by clicking the image below”

    I assume that happened since Nov 10th when the last comment here got commentluv. Unless it actually refers to me needing to download something?

  7. Peter says:

    I’m Thankful for “Old” friends…. I hope my last birthday wasn’t my LAST but its a bit like my first… I don’t remember much about either of them.

  8. Wendy says:

    Thats really funny and I do remember Sienfeld saying that somewhere. And it reminds me to tell my 4yr yr old to take a nap before he drives me up a wall!

  9. Naomi says:

    Hey! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came to check it out. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!

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