The oversize hand basket screeched to a halt at the fiery cavern’s entrance. A tall thin man in a snakeskin jacket (made of real snakes) greeted me.
“Hello Marti! Welcome to Hell!”
“Oh, hey Satan, how’s tricks?”
“Wonderful! I love the American political season. So much opportunity for mischief! But I brought you here to talk about you. How are things…hmmm?”
“Well, I gotta give you credit. You have done a real number on me. Been taking care of grandma with her Parkinson’s for more than a year now. Just got the girl through high school, with all the prom and graduation hoopla. She’s not out even a month when you give Husband a stroke. Good one, Lucifer.”
“Oh thank you! I love kudos. So why haven’t I heard from you? Many people in your situation call on me, you know.”
“Nah, I’m hanging in there.”
“But I’ve forced you to live at your mother-in-law’s house! That one works almost every time!”
“Nope. Actually it’s easier to take care of both of them in the same house, especially since hers is all on one level and already has safety bars in the bathroom.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re enjoying your time there or I will hurl.”
“I’m just hangin’ in, that’s what I do.”
“Isn’t the noise getting to you? I enticed dozens of teenagers to hot rod up and down her street at all hours of the night. And I got 100 gremlins to work on the next-door neighbor’s air conditioner compressor, so that it rattles and roars like an airplane engine. Surely that is annoying you!”
“I just moved down to sleep on the floor. It gives hubby more room to sprawl in the bed, and it got my head away from the wall where the sound came in.”
“But what about the late-night call you got from your son? I caused his car to overheat on the freeway and you had to go rescue him. Wasn’t that enough to make you at least consider…?”
“Sorry, Beelzebub, not interested. Husband is still seeing improvement, getting more movement back. Daughter is learning responsibility by having to take care of herself more. I have faith that things will get better.”
“Damn you!”
“I think you’ve already tried that. I need to be gettin’ back now.”
“AAARRRGH! Be gone with you!”
“Okie dokie. See ya.”
“Oh you can count on it, my dear. You can count on it.”
Posted by Marti @ 
You couldn’t have least talked him into lowering the price of oil?
June 30th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Hot damn! You got him goin’. Way to be….
Nice of you to be easy going…..
June 30th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Yeah, that’s right LOOZER-ifer! Get out of here BealiBUBBER-BUTT!! hahaha you tell him, Marti!
:)
Leigh
The Mystery Maiden
Shot In The Dark Mysteries.com
June 30th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Oh, Marti!
July 1st, 2008 at 5:27 am
Been thinking about you a lot. You sure do have more to handle than anybody needs….darned devil anyhow. I admire how you are hanging in there and that you can still share your sense of humor with us out here in blog land. I hope you can find a little time for yourself….take care….
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 am
Hi Marti, good to hear everything is going well for you, lol
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
“Lucifer” aside, glad to hear your marbles still reside in your vicinity. Hope that things continue to improve all around.
July 6th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Stumbled onto this joke while reading various blogs:
Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers,a state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph.
He thnks to himself, “This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!”
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, said to him, “Officer, I don’t understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the
problem?”
The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before you go, Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken.”
“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute, officer … we just got off Route 127″.
Hope that hubby is getting the best of the Pastor with these.
July 9th, 2008 at 3:16 am
keep hanging in there, girlfriend! But also remember that when you get to the end of your own strength and good humor, God is waiting there to encourage and support you.
I’m praying for you!
July 10th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Hope your hubby is doing better. I’m so glad that he wasn’t stuck in the hospital for very long. I think about you all the time.
July 16th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
OH. MY. LORD! I am giggling so hard at this, that I’ve had to re-type several words through giggle tears (have to be quiet here) Miss Marti…thank you SO MUCH for this…for the giggles (I REALLLY needed it); for the perspective (I REALLLY needed an attitude adjustment today); and for the reminder. Just brilliant! Just hilarious!
C.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:26 pm