Today is our 26th Wedding Anniversary
September 21, 1981
Categories: Special Days, Family, Humor
September 21, 2007
Today is Our 26th Wedding Anniversary
Posted by Marti @ September 19, 2007
Talk Like a Pirate Day
Avast ye mateys! Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day
Have fun!
Enjoy this cute graphic
from Susan Reynolds and delight in the day, me hearties!
Categories: Special Days, Friends, Humor, Blogging
September 15, 2007
D Day
The time comes in all of our lives when we must face one of life’s greatest terrors. The DMV.
Yes, it’s been a month plus a couple of days since we acquired the pumpkin PT, and the big black magic marker date on the temporary license sticker screamed the news that it was expired to the entire world (including the police officers who are now directing traffic in front of the seriously overcrowded high school that Daughter attends).
I’m a pretty ballsy broad, but I don’t have it in me to flaunt myself like Brittney Spears, shoving my surplus in people’s faces (especially cops).
So the DMV trip had to be made.
Fall is a popular festival season here in Missouri, and while I love autumn I am not feeling real festive when I have to pay hundreds of dollars in sales taxes and buy license plates. Unfortunately, there are times when worlds collide, and yesterday things went supernova.
I headed for the DMV. I noticed a lot of hot rods and model T’s on the road. I saw people carrying folding chairs and picnic baskets. I heard the PA system blaring, “Here’s To You, Mister Way Too Much Cologne Wearer Guy {{Cue Budweiser theme music}} “
I smelled kettle corn and and saw booths selling velvet paintings. Then I saw the true horror - floats lining up. Nothn’ will put the fear of God into you like a flatbed trailer decked out with eight miles of crepe paper and a dozen clowns (I don’t like clowns, they creep me out)
Plus they were all between me and the DMV.
I tried circling around the edge of town, to mount a frontal assault. Actually an assault on the back of the building, but saying I was about to mount an assault on the rear would only inspire uncontrolled giggling, so I won’t say that. *snicker*
Unfortunately, all of the streets for several blocks around City hall were barricaded, and were being patrolled by officials in shiny lime green vests, which looked clownish enough to raise my heart rate. Shiny-green-vest-guy approached my car as I inched up the street. With fear and loathing in my heart I cautiously rolled the window down. I explained that I needed to purchase license plates and waved the packet of paperwork in his direction, hoping it contained enough magical powers to dissuade him from slaughtering me with his clipboard.
The hex worked, and he told me I could go around the barricade to get to the DMV parking lot. Then he handed me a shiny green parking pass.
A pass that was good for 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES. Have you ever gotten in and out of a DMV in 20 minutes? I couldn’t do that if I was on fire.
Fortunately, the proud and the brave who made it into City Hall were few. The line was shorter than I’d ever seen, and foolishly, I became hopeful. Duh on me.
The dealership has assured me that all of the paperwork I would need was in the packet. It was not.
The clerk uttered the dreaded words, “Where’s your inspection?”
So I had to leave. Back past shiny-vest-guy, who requested his pass back. Back past the float-clowns (shudder) Back to the dealership to get a copy of the inspection.
Then…back to hell (Hell is filled with velvet paintings and a PA system screaming Budweiser commercials but there is no beer) Back to shiny-vest-guy who gave me another pass, but looked at me suspiciously. I’m reasonably sure he remembered me and will send a pack of float-clowns to murder me in some horrible clown-like way. Back inside the DMV, with the scent of bratwurst and the blast of bad country music violating all of my senses.
At last it was done! I snuck out of the parking lot and kept (yes KEPT,’cause I’m such an outlaw - lol) the temporary parking pass, because I knew that this would make it onto the blog.
September 10, 2007
Free Hugs
Today is free hug day. Last year I was involved in the Project 2996 blogger tributes to victims of 9/11.
This year I wanted to do something in remembrance, and I discovered Free Hug Day on Facebook.
From the site:
September 10th, 2007 will be remembered as the biggest Free Hug Day this world has ever seen. Everybody get ready, this one is going to be HUGE.
Invite everyone you can!!!!! Thank you!!!!
The Reason for the date,
September 10th is the day before 9/11. We will all sit down on that day and think about the tragedies that have befallen this world, we will think of the twin towers, of the Iraq war, of the terrorist attacks all over the world. We will think to ourselves…what has this world come to? where has the good gone? That is why I created this event, so when you do ask yourself that, you think about all the hugs you had received the day before and you think to yourself that there is love left. I want people to be reminded that this world has a great amount of good left in it, and that it should never be forgotten.
- - - -
I think this is a beautiful thought - to think about those we love, who touch our lives and live in our hearts. Share a hug today with those people - in real life and on the Internet.
Peace and joy to all of you!
{{hugs}}
Categories: Special Days, Friends, Humor, Blogging
September 4, 2007
Then They Broke Down the Door
Labor Day is over. Thank God.
Ours was bizarre. Any holiday that includes a phone call telling you that grandma’s front door has been knocked down by the police goes right up there in the Top Ten Weird Ones.
I couldn’t make this stuff up.
Seems that someone phoned in an emergency assistance request in the next county over. The caller claimed to be an elderly woman who was in distress - lost, disoriented and having no name. The caller didn’t literally say, “I have no name” but simply failed to mention it during the call. They did however, mention a phone number - grandma’s phone number.
The next county over did a quick check with their magical We Know Everything About Everybody database, and cross-referenced the phone number to grandma’s hometown. So they passed the information about elderly unnamed woman to grandma’s hometown police, who sprung into action.
They arrived with everything short of Bradley fighting vehicles, according to the disconcerted neighbors, (which is a good thing…if this had been an actual emergency) who must have thought Osama Bin Laden (oh gee that’ll get flagged by the FBI for sure - said a paranoid Marti who is sure the government is reading her blog ever since she talked about the forest fatah and Suicide Bambi attacking her car) was holed up inside.
They called. They knocked. They swarmed the six-foot wooden privacy fence. They scared the bejesus out of grandma’s cairn terrier.
Then they broke down the front door.
Meanwhile, (insert soft Muzak background) grandma was quietly strolling the aisles of Walmart, looking for light bulbs, blissfully unaware.
We, however, were painfully aware, and pacing the floors scared out of our wits at grandma’s supposed demise. Visions of that sweet little lady lying in a ditch are not nearly as pleasant as having sugarplums dance in your head, lemme tell ya.
As frantic phone calls were being made, and grandma’s doggie was crouching in terror under the bed while the SWAT team stormed the house, grandma was contemplating 60 versus 75 watts for the kitchen. What a surprise awaited her.
We’re still trying to sort out the details. Why the caller gave no name. Why they called the next county over, yet said they were near a town that is 200 miles away. Why they gave grandma’s phone number. Why phonetic isn’t spelled the way it sounds.
I’ll let you know if we get any answers.
