Do NOT go out in the early morning hours to garden, mow grass and pull weeds where there is poison ivy, then rush inside and go to the bathroom without washing your hands.
Excuse me now while I go scoot my butt across the rug like a dog…….
Categories: Humor
Posted by Marti @ 9:01 am | 
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane. - Jimmy Buffett
Hi! I am a wife, mother, friend, humor columnist, online retailer, aspiring novelist, and pumpkin farmer... a woman who is trying to do ten things at once, but only succeeding at about half of them!
"Marti Lawrence’s book, Queen Klutz, is a laugh riot! It’s a great break from the ordinary trash we deal with all day, every day. This woman’s sense of humor gives me a lift on a daily basis. I know I can hop over to her blog and leave with a grin."
~Yvonne DiVita
Marti is a columnist who simply amazed me. This is some lady and she is more funny than most stand up comics! LOL! Oh yes, Buzzable and Buzzalicious!
~ BuzelleIn self-deprecating humor, Lawrence highlights mishaps in short chapters with titles such as “DMV - Or Diarrheal Mahatma Voodoo" and "The Two Thousand Dollar French Fry - E-Bay auction". Famous quotations nicely punctuate each chapter's ending. From her collection of newspaper essays, Lawrence will delight readers with hilarious prose. Read Queen Klutz and find your new best friend – one who reminds you life's adventures can be funny.
~ Jennifer at MyShelf.com
This book snared me and kept me reading until the very last page!
~ Writer’s BuzzThis is an enjoyable book--fast-paced, engaging, and full of intrigue!
River of Possibilities
Available Now!
Available in e-book and softcover
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You can find Marti at:
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My best friend is selling
these beautiful swimsuits.
She donates much of her profit
to animal rescue.
We would appreciate a visit.
Click on the picture to visit
the Squidoo lens
(which includes a hilarious
YouTube video.)
Thanks!
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I WON A PERFECT POST AWARD! THANK YOU, HOSS!
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| CURRENT MOON lunar phases |
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Sadly, the first thought that popped into my mind was, “Oh shit!!!!”
June 21st, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Shortly followed by - (in regards to your comment today), “YOU WIN!!!!”
June 21st, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Been there, done that.
Try soaking in epsom salts…often.
June 21st, 2007 at 6:02 pm
You’re right. That is something I would not want to do. Tell me, again, what does poison ivy look like?
June 21st, 2007 at 6:04 pm
FUNNY! ~ But I don’t think you have to worry about me doing that! (The draggin’ my hynnie part of the story at least) ~ jb///
June 21st, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Yep I’ll remember that
June 21st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
You poor thing! I don’t garden much myself. I knew having a black thumb would come in handy someday
BTW this reminds me of the carpet cleaning commercial where the kid tells the mom about Toby’s new trick. The mom looks up to see the dog dragging his butt on the carpet.
TOBY!!!! she yells. Cute ad.
June 22nd, 2007 at 8:15 am
Not the mental image I wanted with my morning coffee… thanks Marti!!!
June 22nd, 2007 at 10:57 pm
I second Cube on having a black thumb. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, lol. I hope those Epsom salts do the trick. Yikes!
June 23rd, 2007 at 9:56 am
OMG… ::snort:: sorry, I swear I’m laughing with you. you are laughing, aren’t you??
June 25th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Oh know! I was complaining about my UTI but you win hands down. Yours is sooo much worse!
June 25th, 2007 at 11:31 am
no way….. oh no…… oh dear oh dear oh dear….
June 29th, 2007 at 1:11 am
Oh no!! Yikes!
June 29th, 2007 at 10:34 am