*He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
*She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
*The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
*McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
*From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
*Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
*Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
*Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
*He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
*The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
*Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man.”
*Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
*The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
*John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
*The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
*His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
*The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Posted by Marti @ 
I think you’re right, a tad more thought could have gone into those analogies.
Mike
March 25th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
Hi Marti,
those analogies were like the relationship of literature to the limericks written on toilet walls.
But bloody funny too.
March 25th, 2007 at 7:47 pm
I LOVED THEM.
Like a moth drawn to a candle and then just goes phhhhztp after the first kiss.
March 25th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Those are precious! The one about the glisening nose hairs is particularly–amazing:)
March 26th, 2007 at 5:31 am
LOL!! Too funny! The definitely needed more work!
March 26th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Pretty funny! Never saw those in writing class.
Dr. John sent me, enjoyed this visit.
March 27th, 2007 at 7:42 am
Excellent, really enjoyed this, particularly the veg soup one.
Dr John sent me too…
March 27th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
HAR HAR HAR! Guffaw and chortle! Loved the one about the two trains! OMG! How come it is when adults talk about word problems from back in school they always begin, “One train leaves the station at . . . ” HA! Or am I the only one that thinks like that. I’m suddenly feeling a bit awkward, like in dreams of going to school and you’re wearing only your underwear but nobody else seems to notice. Maybe I should go see Dr. John.
www.iwantmyabb.blogspot.com
March 27th, 2007 at 8:29 pm
And Marti, your wallpapers always rule!
March 27th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
As a teacher I’ve seen my share of those.
March 27th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Fantastic blog! Love your style and will return! Thanks
March 28th, 2007 at 9:22 am
It was a dark and stormy night…
BTW how in the world do you keep up with so many blogs?
March 28th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
I never sleep, cube! LOL
Thanks to all of you for stopping by!
March 28th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Very funny, Marti.
Boy is this place green!Like it.
My favorite: *McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup
I can ’see’ that. Yoiks!
~m
March 29th, 2007 at 6:20 am
Hi Marti Darlin’
This post is just too funny. I love these. by the way, you’ve been tagged…by me…to do a meme called 5 things I have heard and always remembered.
Love ya
Leeuna
March 30th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
That is an excellent analogy. Hardly deserving of the post title.
Also decent.
That must have been meant ironically, and thus also succeeds.
April 1st, 2007 at 3:46 pm