Do you believe in miracles?
I think we should contact the Vatican for verification, because (insert angelic music with horns trumpeting) we have more than one working vehicle at our house!
Of course (being us) it came at a price.
Monday we had a medical emergency. Once the threat to life and limb was handled, we returned to husband’s car to discover a flat tire.
One of the four very new, very expensive tires.
Husband replaced the offender with the mini-tire from the trunk. He checked the deflated tire for signs of damage, expecting (being us) to see Satan’s pitchfork imbedded in the rubber. Finding nothing, off we wobbled, (the Neon does not like having the donut tire installed and tried to shake it off all the way there) to rake the tire man over the coals for selling us a tire that would choose to euthanize itself.
Tire man blamed a bad valve stem. I shook my finger at it mightily, while scolding, “Bad valve stem! Bad!”
Tire man replaced the naughty valve, and husband and I returned home, expecting a quiet day.
What fools we are.
Son had the day off, and had vanished while we were gone. Not unusual, he disappears better than Houdini.
Then the phone rang.
“Uh, mom, is dad there?”
I hate it when conversations start like that. I said yes (being an honest though leery mother). Then he uttered those beautiful words. “I think I’ve found a car to buy.”
After the disaster of his last vehicle purchase, he had decided to have his father take a look at it before handing over his hard-earned McMoney.
So off we went on the Great Car Adventure.
The seller was a minister (thank you, Jesus). The car was in tip-top shape, with complete maintenance records. If you can’t trust a man of God to sell you a used car, the world truly is going to Hell.
So the purchase was made, and the next day the lad headed for the DMV for licensing.
The Deathstar DMV. The same DMV office I was in, when a native of Calcutta asked me, “Is this place always so hot and crowded?” (Read my experience at the DMV ( Diarrhea Mathama Voodoo) post here)
Prior to entering the gates of Hell, the lad had visited the plasma center to sell his bodily fluids for dollars to appease the Sales Tax gods. It left him in a weakened state, which is never a good idea when you are entering the gates of Hell.
The queue was (as always) massively long. The temperature of the room was just shy of being inside a blast furnace.
Son began to feel faint.
Later (after the ambulance was called) he told me that he was woozy but didn’t want to lose his spot in line. Unfortunately they do not save your place in line when you collapse, passing out cold onto the hot tile floor.
Yet he persevered. (That’s my boy!) Once the medical personnel revived him and he refused to be carted off to the hospital (because Spike the cat had warned him that hospitals are very bad places) he called me.
“Uh, Mom? You’re not going to believe what happened.”
This is never the way to open a conversation with your mother.
“The emergency medical technicians are gone now.”
Oh Lord. I thought they were going to have to call one for me if the conversation continued along these lines. I urged him to be a bit more specific.
“WTF IS GOING ON?!?”
So he related the tragic tale. I insisted he return home so I could verify that he was breathing. Then the brave lad traveled to a different DMV and completed his business.
I was so proud.
So now (insert angelic music with horns trumpeting) we have TWO cars that run, at our house.
Don’t tell Satan.
Posted by Marti @ 
Good Thursday morning, Marti ! You indeed cheated Satan quite nicely on both counts ! Glad that the tire is fixed, and your son has a dependable new car, with all the attendant DMV paperwork completed !
March 8th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Oh my gosh. I remember those long-ago days of donating plasma, back in the dark ages when I was a poor college student with no other way to get movie tickets and Taco Bueno. And books.
I’m glad he recovered so fast. Only the young and energetic could ever go BACK to the dmv the same day, after something like that!
March 8th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Oh man, you better knock wood when you talk about cars that work properly. Funny story, but I hope your son is OK now!
March 8th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Bwhahahhahaha Its always good to know im not alone in this chaos called life.
March 8th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Oh my goodness. If I had your life, I wouldn’t leave my house…
Come to think of it, my eldest daughter just got her learner’s permit & is beginning to drive the family cars…
Oh no, my life is going to be as hectic as your life soon… Nooooo!
March 8th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Funny story! Donating plasma is not much fun, especially when you combine it with a trip to the DMV afterwards. Hope your son suffered no ill effects later, and that your luck with the cars continues to hold out. Hey, thanks for visiting my blog and commenting!
March 8th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
I’m not looking forward to my kids driving. I can already envision the fleet of cars and the huge gas bill, ugh!
March 8th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
What a pleasureable read - even though your end of it was miserable.
March 9th, 2007 at 12:46 am
So, do you get to drive the child’s car? You should grab it someday and get it pimped out, for a present, like, you know?
March 9th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
You know things are bad when a person from Calcutta complains of the heat and crowd.
When we lived in CA, we’d travel down the road about 20 miles to a smaller town that had a DMV that was NEVER crowded. It was like we knew some very well kept secret. I sure miss that DMV now!
I’m so glad you have two functioning vehicles.
Hopefully, the man of God didn’t sell your kid a lemon.
God strike him down if he did!!
March 10th, 2007 at 1:27 am
I swear I read this when you first posted it and forgot to comment. I apologize for being such an ass!!
Anyway- WOO HOO!!!! Finally… you know, Marti, this could mean that your luck is completely turning around, the worst is over and the rest of 2007 should really kick some major butt!!!
March 11th, 2007 at 10:18 pm
LOL, I was always afraid to donate plasma in college because the local place looked skeevy. Please tell me the EMTs checked the poor kid for infection while they were there! Good news on the cars, I hope the good luck lasts!
March 12th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Hi Marti, sure hope you (your Son) have better luck with this car.
March 13th, 2007 at 1:29 am
Perhaps someone is watching over you =)
March 13th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I believe in miracles! Marti actually has two seemingly operational vehicles! What preist came and performed the exhaustism on your garage??? I thought this only happened in the movies. Is this a good country or what?
March 14th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
What a story! My son is almost 15, so we’ll be there before too long.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’ve enjoyed browsing yours.
March 15th, 2007 at 9:35 am