I tried to be cautious.
I was casual, glancing around and smiling to cover up my indiscretion. I tried to be subtle, and to employ subterfuge to hide the truth.
But I got caught.
“Marti, you didn’t cover up B 12!” chided my mother-in-law.
It was true. I’ve been doing it for weeks now.
Cheating at BINGO.
I just couldn’t bring myself to claim one of the prizes…a box of Kleenex or cereal from the table where the numbers caller sits, rolling the basket of colored, numbered balls.
I was in a room full of munchkins (old people shrink, I was the only human being there who was over five feet tall) at the Senior Citizens Center, where I’ve driven my sweet mother-in-law to play bingo three times a week every since Pop passed. They had welcomed me with open arms.
“Oh, you’re driving Maxine now! That’s wonderful, just wonderful!”
Looking at their adorable little smiles, hugging them gently, (fearful of breaking them) I watched as they played their cards passionately. Seeing their anticipation as they came closer to winning. Seeing the resignation on their wrinkled little faces if someone at another table called out “BINGO”. (There is camaraderie amongst table-mates, and barely-under-their-breath grumbling that so-and-so at another table plays five cards or wears a wig. I’m not sure how wig-wearing came to be so sinful, but it is held in high disdain).
And I couldn’t bear the thought of taking one of their prized prizes.
So I cheated - to lose.
I would hear the number called but not cover it up on my card. I would casually sip my water. I would cough or blow my nose. I would do everything short of shouting, “Look, a truckload of Depends has crashed outside!”
All of the table-mates had been telling me I must be terribly unlucky. That I should get a different card, with “better numbers”. I would smile and say that was OK, I was having fun.
Then I got busted.
Mother-in-law started watching my card for me. She must have thought I was so simple-minded that the concept of covering up the number as it was called, completely escaped me. She started pointing out the numbers on my card, insisting I cover them.
So alas, I won. Sigh. I tried to give the prize to her, but she would have none of it.
Anybody need a box of Kleenex?
Posted by Marti @ 
And, to think, there is an old adage that says “Cheaters never prosper.” So much for that.
February 27th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
I also volunteer my time to play bingo with the elders. I help them watch their cards, and yes I know how they look forward to winning. One day when I saw that the ‘booty’ consisted of Halls, gum, Kleenex, and the disappointed look on the seniors faces; I was told there was no money for prizes. Since then I have made it a habit to visit the dollar store every month. You would be surprised to see the great stuff you can get there.,seasonal items as well. At Xmas, I got Xmas mugs, floral arrangements,,jewelry boxes, hand cream, statues, ceramic animals,playing cards, etc.. The same at Valentine’s day.All senior homes appreciate donations.
P.S. I would have done the same!
February 28th, 2007 at 8:50 am
That is so sweet of you to try to lose so that the lovely senior citizens will win. I tried volunteering once on a home for the aged and I sang for them as well!
February 28th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
by the way the new look of your blog is soo fab!
February 28th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever felt the same about “cheating” at anything. God bless you for
that.
February 28th, 2007 at 5:21 pm
LOL! Great post–you really had me laughing:)
February 28th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Crime doesn’t pay Marti, you were sure to get sprung sooner or later.
March 1st, 2007 at 5:06 am
Glad to see you back in action, Marti! Congratulations on the perfect post award! Now, here they watch you like a hawk to make sure you aren’t cheating to win. Jackpot is up to $1000 on the late games, and those little old ladies are super serious about winning. They buy fifteen cards at a time and have two stampers (highlighters) ready- one in each hand! You don’t mess with those senior citizens.
March 1st, 2007 at 11:45 am
That is just too funny Marti! At least you had good intentions.
March 1st, 2007 at 5:36 pm
I’d like to play cards with you.
What are you doing Saturday night?
March 2nd, 2007 at 1:37 am
Ah bingo, I remember playing that in Germany in a pub and the prizes were of a liquid nature, I seem to recall that the later games got a lot harder
March 2nd, 2007 at 4:10 am
This is such a funny post. I am SO glad you are back!
March 2nd, 2007 at 12:49 pm
LOL!!! What a great entry and cheating to lose…I think your mother-in-law was secretly on to you…a mother always knows.
You’re in my thoughts…take your time with the grief. It’s okay to be sad.
March 2nd, 2007 at 7:50 pm
That is a very sweet post…I am glad you are able to find humor during what must be a hard time.
March 3rd, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Ha ha ha! Too funny. You can send me the Kleenex. I’ve been using quite a lot this week due to a cold and allergies. Finally feeling better, though. Glad you are feeling better too. Great post! I would have done the same thing, no matter how much I needed the Kleenex.
March 3rd, 2007 at 11:48 pm
It’s good to have you back, Marti.
March 4th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Great post, and what a sweet thing to do.
I’m sure it makes your MIL feel good to help you out with your lack of bingo dabbing skills, so no harm done!
March 4th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
It’s great that you’re back Marti!
This post really made my day!
March 6th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Aweee that’s so sweet!
That’ll teach you to cheat at bingo young lady — now go blow your nose
March 6th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
No good deed goes unpunished, right?
The concept of “gambling” for toiletries cracks me up. Almost like cigarettes being currency in jail….or so I’ve heard:)
March 6th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Try EBay? Get your gas money back anyway. As long as the bingo place is across the street.
Great site…got a few laughs out of me
March 6th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
Hehe, that will teach you.
Next time, try hiding your mother-in-law’s glasses. Cheating might be easier that way.
March 7th, 2007 at 3:18 am