Enter The Laughter

November 8, 2006

Oh What a Beautiful Morning

Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I’ve got a wonderful feeling,
Everything’s going my way.

Happy Wednesday, everyone! What a beautiful day! S’posed to be mild and sunny here, and the leaves outside are as glorious as the ones on this page!

I’ve got a beautiful new template, courtesy of AMY THE MAGNIFICENT!

Isn’t it gorgeous? She is an incredible lady, please give her a hand!
(Deafening applause)

In other news, the American people have spoken. Woot! I believe in democracy. I believe we have the right to vote and should exercise it. If you didn’t vote, you don’t get to bitch - LOL!

And K-Fed goes in the same, “Trivial Pursuit - 2010 Edition” answer box as Star Jones - LOL!

I get a couple of days off from the insanity run! Double woot! LOL

Husband has taken a mini-vacation, so for a few days, I am spared from breaking the laws of Mazoorah, Kansas and physics, by trying to survive on three hours of sleep and travelling 250 miles a day without incident (cars hate me).

I got to make a “Personal Wishlist” Squidoo lens, which was a blast! Stop by and make one for yourself - it is so much fun! I’ll be happy to lend you a hand!

Girls will be boys,

girl dressed up as boy

and boys will be girls.

boy dressed up as girl

It’s a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world…(Oh dear, now I’ve got The Kinks stuck in my head. Not that unusual for my brain to have a few kinks though - LOL)

May you all have a fabulous Wednesday!

give peace a chance

Categories: Family, Humor

Posted by Marti @ 8:22 am | 6 comments

November 3, 2006

Grey’s Vibrator

I am tarred. That’s hillbilly-speak for exhausted.

Been gettin’ up at 3 AM to do the insanity run. That means I usually fall asleep about 7 PM - LOL

But I stayed up last night to watch Grey’s Anatomy, because I love that show. ‘Cause it’s all true.

I reckon most folks that watch it think, “Heh…funny, but that could never happen in real life.”

Trust me, real life is crazier.

I used to be an x-ray tech. The parade of human stupidity that you see when you work in a hospital is beyond anything a fiction writer could come up with.

We’d often get called to the emergency room to do portable x-rays. You never knew what to expect. It might be some fool who accidentally shot himself with a nail gun. Or a kid that swallowed something or stuffed something up their nose.

But the strangest case I ever saw (and let me tell you, I saw some damn strange stuff) was the vibrator case.

Got the call to do an ER portable. On the table was a young man in his 20’s sweating and groaning, and holding his abdomen. I glanced at the doctor. He looked at me and raised one eyebrow. The secret signal that this was gonna be odd.

He requested an abdominal x-ray. It is necessary to feel for the patient’s illiac bone to be able to position properly.

So I placed my hand on the man’s abdomen, and it was quivering.

I looked at the doctor again, who could not look directly at me as he was attempting not to laugh. (Anti-laughter is one of the classes they make you take in medical school.)

I excused myself and stepped into the hallway, motioning with my eyes for the doctor to follow.

“So, what’s up with this guy?”

Doctor stifled laughter. “Up…uh, yeah. Up his anus. Up into the colon.”

“His friend,” he said, pointing to a man pacing in the waiting room, “His friend says they were ‘playing’ with a vibrator, and it, uh, ‘got away’ from him.”

The vibrator had taken off like the bell at the Kentucky Derby had rung, and it was now attempting to round turn one.

It got stuck there.

It was still running.

I took my x-ray, then they took the guy into surgery.

I was called on to take portable films in there, (like I’d have missed this for the world - LOL) as it kept shifting positions. Once they sliced him open, and removed it, the doctor laid it on one of those silver medical trays.

It was still running.

It danced quite a jig on that metal tray, and the surgeon grabbed it and fiddled with it a bit, then yelled, “How do you turn this damn thing off?”

“Don’t say anything, Marti,” said the wise little voice in my head.

One of the nurses piped up, “The bottom of it should twist counterclockwise to turn it off.”

She never lived down having the answer, or her new nickname, “Buzzy”.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Categories: Humor

Posted by Marti @ 10:13 am | 14 comments

November 1, 2006

Hell-oween

Isn’t it grand that the gods decided Marti didn’t have quite enough crap in her life, and delivered a special truckload of manure for Halloween? LOL

My blog vanished. Poof! Happy Halloween - it’s gone!

I don’t know why. I do not understand WordPress-speak. It was still here if you added “blog” to the end of the URL. Tricky bastard. I wrote to WordPress forum. I got an answer that was similar to the instructions for constructing a matter transport machine. If they were written in Chinese. By an Ethiopian.

But God bless her beautiful soul, Amy rode to my rescue. I wrote her an enormous rant, and she is to be congratulated first for not changing her e-mail address and not telling me - LOL

I bitched about not having a car, having to drive so far every day, the cold weather, the blog disappearing, and the general crappiness of life.

Her kind soul, warm sense of humor and genius mind saved me! She boosted my spirits and fixed my blog! What a woman!

So the blog is back! Thank you, Amy, you earned mucho karma points for putting up with me! Stop by and tell her her how swell she is! She’s got a beautiful new template too!

Categories: Friends, Humor, cars