This is Butterball.
He’s dead.
I’m sick.
No, not so sick that I dressed up a dead cat.
He was alive when I dressed him up. This pictures is several years old.
Mother Nature killed him. Or Father Time. Or Sister Fate. That whole family’s a bunch of homicidal maniacs.
My whole family’s a bunch of sickos, too. We’ve got the flu or the croup or the plague, I dunno. Everyone is coughing and sneezing and has sore throats and laryngitis. They’ve all been home all week, hacking and moaning and expecting me to drag my equally sick butt outta bed to take care of them - LOL
I haven’t had a chance to do much else, so if I haven’t visited you or commented or mailed you something, now you know why.
Husband said (well wheezed and motioned) that he had to go in to work today. Reports were due, meetings were set, deadlines had to be met.
So together, we dragged our sorry selves out of bed at the monstrous hour of 3 AM. It is raining. There is a fierce wind blowing. I am tired. I haven’t had twenty minutes of uninterrupted sleep in 5 or 6 days. I’ve lost track - time has little meaning, and I am adrift in a sea of snot - LOL
But duty called. I said let it ring, but Husband gathered up his fortitude and responded. So off we were at 3:30 this ugly morn. I was not a good travelling companion.
The wind was blowing buckets of leaves from the trees. My fevered brain did not function sufficiently to process what was happening, and I cried out, (as best I could, with my gravelly, laryngitis-y voice) “Oh crap! Huge brown snowflakes! We’re doomed!”
Husband sighed, wheezily.
I rubbed my eyes and slapped my cheeks, trying to wake up. I thought I was doing a little better until a strong gust blew a green plastic trash-can-on-wheels out in front of us. Husband clipped the edge of it with his bumper.
“You’ve killed a leprechaun!”
I think he actually believed he had, for a moment.
We managed to arrive at his office and he warily handed the keys over to me. I staggered around to the driver’s side, and plopped into the seat. His car is a stick shift, and I am not really fond of driving a stick. He said, “But you know how to shift gears.” I replied I know how to give a barium enema too, but it doesn’t mean I enjoy it. He didn’t say anything else.
Plus, I am not very familiar with the placement of the controls for wipers, lights, defroster, and dilithium crystals. *snicker*
There must be a thousand green-glowing buttons. I don’t know what any of them do. I was afraid that if I touched anything, somewhere, a kitten would die. Just like poor ol’ Butterball. Then I would become a killer bitch, just like Mother Nature. But I drove back, cursing the weather and people who pulled out in front of me. “Damn you! Now I have to downshift!”
I could barely see the road for the rain and blowing leaves. I was afraid I’d miss the exits and end up in Des Moines, knowing that they don’t want a kitten killer bitch who sounds like Harvey Fierstein and can’t find the controls, in their town.
Somehow I made it back here, and I am safe within the confines of Casa de Mucus. God help anybody who gets in my way when I have to go back this afternoon.
Posted by Marti @ 
I woulda let him have the car. I hope you get some rest, and get better real quick! That won’t happen if you are out running the roads.
October 27th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Would that I could sugar! Son had to be taken to work today though, and it is too far to walk (5 miles) especially since he’s been sick and it was cold and rainy. Sigh. Just shoot me now, ‘k? LOL
October 27th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Nice to hear that things in your world, (Casa Del Mucus) are going so well Marti, it’s always nice to know that ones friends are enjoying life.
October 27th, 2006 at 8:21 pm
You certainly are the queen of laughter, Marti. I had a hearty time reading this, even as I felt awful to hear you and your family are under the weather. Do get well soon. -:)
October 28th, 2006 at 10:29 am
This sounds like the same nasty bug that’s been making its rounds on the West Coast. Feel better soon!
October 28th, 2006 at 11:52 am
Marti, I’m loving the pictures of the kitties. Hope you and your family get better soon!
October 28th, 2006 at 11:57 am
Marti,
Hon, I’m sorry you’re all so sick, but I couldn’t help but fall over laughing at your post. I hope you never lose your sense of humor, Girl. You make even having the flu sound like a circus. Take care and get well.
Love ya
Leeuna
October 28th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
I hope you’re all feeling better really soon!
And I love that kitty pic:)
It’s blustery here, too.
Happy weekend!
October 28th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Poor Marti… Hurry up and get better. Citizen Squids Episode III is out this week
And you’re a costar!
October 28th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Great, now you’ve given me a computer virus
Have you been handling live and dead birds again? (Perhaps dressing up the dead ones in witch’s outfits)
Feel better soon!
October 28th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Sorry to hear you are all sick. Your optimistic style of writing makes the Phlegm Follies sound (almost) funny, but I know it isn’t really, so I hope you guys feel better soon.
BTW love the kitty photo. It’s not easy getting a cat to wear a hat… I ought to know!!!
October 28th, 2006 at 11:17 pm