Well, it’s almost that time again. Back to cruel…err, school.
Do you look back fondly on high school? Any of you who do, please line up over here. Yes right there on that square.
YOINK! {{ Followed by shocked look and hair flying over heads, as trapdoor flops open dropping them into pit below }}
High school is a horrible but necessary training ground for the rest of life in this cruel, cruel world.
I realize now, and have tried to instill in my children, the fact that every one of the greasy little pigs believes they are hideously ugly - more disgusting than a bowl full of intestines. Yes, even the cheerleaders feel this way. That is why they are especially cruel. It’s a defense mechanism.
For most of us (peeks in on pit dwellers who are pacing and reciting their valedictorian speeches to calm themselves) high school was a nightmare. Now (oh joy) I get to relive the nightmare (for the third time) through dear Daughter.
She will be a Junior this year. She feels stupid and ugly. I tell her she is smart and beautiful. She says that I have to say that because I’m her mother. Oh yeah, I forgot - that was in the handbook.
We went back-to-school shopping yesterday. This weekend is the “sales tax holiday” here in Mazoorah. Damn, and I forgot to put up decorations. What a crock. The cities could opt out, so the “savings” (she said sarcastically) was the state tax, which is about 4%. So on the $40 we spent on the limited list of products that are included, we saved… WOW! A dollar and sixty cents! Let’s start a college fund for you honey!
There’s the joy of trying on clothes in the dressing room that is too small and badly lit. Finding that perfect first-day outfit for everyone else to gossip about is so difficult. Especially when she’s decided she wants only black apparel, following in Goth Boy Brother’s combat bootsteps.
Plus we have the hair issue. The hair-that-was-dyed-black-over-the-summer. The hair she wants to darken again, much like the throbbing headache that wants to do to my doorstep.
This followed the thrill of attempting to register and adjust schedule for the upcoming school year. The district sent out newsletters (apparently to everyone on the planet) to show up at the high school to register. They all did. Packed like sausages into the Jimmy Dean Gymnasium.
Please bring proof that you exist.
No, the newsletter that came addressed to you isn’t enough proof. You could be a terrorist who went around stealing those out of mailboxes.
The fact that the student has lived in this district since birth doesn’t matter. Or that she has attended schools in this district all her life. Or that the mother has sent three students through these schools and knows every teacher and administrator by name (and evil nickname).
Having served as a room mother, office assistant, field trip manager, chaperone, PTA member, Grad Night coordinator and Secret Santa is not enough. A terrorist might have gotten plastic surgery to look like you. (This is followed by me rolling on the floor with laughter, and Daughter acting like she doesn’t know me).
You want to do what? Oh no, we can’t change any of the classes here. The office isn’t open. You’ll have to call and make an appointment for that. Ignore the three hours you spent waiting in line and wrestle your way through the sweating hoard to exit. Step aside. NEXT!
Posted by Marti @ 
I hear ya, Marti - High school is a horrible thing with horrible people. Whatcha gonna do with those pit dwellers? lol Oldest son is a senior and youngest son is a junior - they start school on Tuesday. Yes, that’s right. I said they are going to start back to school on August friggin’ 9th! I hate our school district. It is hard enough to deal with sullen teenagers on a normal basis but now I have to wrestle them out of bed and to school by 7:30 when, by rights, they should be able to laze around the house for another, oh, 3 weeks. *sigh*
August 5th, 2006 at 10:47 am
And they wonder why kids bring guns to school, teachers are banging their students, and kids are on drugs……..
August 5th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Ain’t it the truth! Bureaucracy run rampant on the local level. Only you could make it entertaining.
August 5th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
ya, i hated school too. (and i went thru a combat boot stage too, but i am over that now. i actually wore a pretty black dress with said boots to a dance one year. i was soooo cool.)
August 5th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
The Queer Chef pimped me here and I’l add hello from Norway. Have a lovely Sunday and a great week ahead - even it the school starts:-)
August 6th, 2006 at 2:47 am
The trials and tribulations we go through these days in the name of public safety are insane. The “big brother” mentality has all but zapped even the most self-reliant of the pack.
High School a nightmare?
Not so much for me. It was the late ’70’s and we’d yet to see anything that came close to Columbine. When you have to start dealing with that stuff, home schooling looks pretty damn good.
Good luck with the kids, Marti. Have you seen the yearly Staples commerial yet? It’s the most wonderful time of the year….
~m
August 6th, 2006 at 7:10 am
I graduated in the late 70s also and with the many race riots it was a very unsettled time. Fortunately, my kids have not had to deal with that - I ask them all the time and they say the feel safe at school. I do agree that in general it is a much more dangerous time these days with too many people with guns.
August 6th, 2006 at 11:20 am
Hehe, Marti I wish I had you as a mom when I was in high school! Man, it was like being thrown to the sharks! I had been in private schools until my freshman year and my parents decided to send me to ‘public’ school so I could get to know the ‘real’ world. OUCH! Was it hard! Love your rant, er blog!
August 6th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Oh I hated high school…and that’s crazy..some schools just go overboard with stuff sometimes.
August 6th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Marti, thanks for visiting my blog and leaving the nice comment. Best of luck to your daughter in the new school year. I work in a public school system and feel that it is harder than ever to be a teenager today. It was hard enough in the 80’s (I graduated in 1988). They have to deal with all the insecurities we did, plus concerns about another Columbine (to the point where sometimes staff and other students think that just because a student isn’t like all the others they are going to blow up the school). Not to mention the extra pressures of high-stakes testing and all that. I hope that in spite of all this she still manages to have a better time in high school than I did.
August 7th, 2006 at 12:23 am
School is a very small universe compared to the whole wide world. I would tell my son. That he could be cool in school and bland in the universe of the real world. Or he could be different in school and be valuable as something companies need in the real world.
Then when he wasn’t looking I would curse the red tape and stupidity of the people who ran the school. The problem is, of course, that they never ever left school. They went from being in school to working there.
August 7th, 2006 at 6:46 am
So… almost everyone hates high school, it makes a lot of teens either depressed, or angry, or hard and bitter. Why send ‘em, then? Actually I didn’t mind it too much myself, but when my sons wanted to be educated at home, it seemed like a much better option. By the time they’re 15 or so they do most of the educating themselves so it wasn’t even difficult.
It’s like… you can go to school and probably be miserable, or you can stay home, get up when you like, study what you want to study, avoid all the nasty peer pressure stuff, and have plenty of time for music/arts/drama… um… difficult choice…?
August 7th, 2006 at 8:18 am
LOL - LOVED this post!!! LOVED IT!!!! Then I realized that the content does pertain to me.
High school…. *shudders*
School starts Aug. 21 here. Yippidee-Freakin’-Doo-Dah.
I’m SO not looking forward to it. Thursday we get to see how screwed up Ethan’s schedule will be. Whoopee!!!!!!!!
August 7th, 2006 at 11:33 am
Wow, that was a wonderful post! Yeah, I hated high school. It’s a self-esteem destroyer, for sure. Good luck to your daughter:) I hope she’s happier than I was.
August 7th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Darlin’:
You know…I think junior high/middle school/whatever the hell you call it these days is WORSE than high school.
At least by high school, you kind of know the things you like or don’t like. I got to high school and was a musichead/drama dweeb. In junior high/middle school, you can’t find your ass with both your hands and every day is awful.
I hated jr. high - can you tell?
August 7th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I guess I was lucky (ignoring the fact it makes me older) that I went through high school ‘63-’66! It was a simple time - just before everything went crazy in ‘69.
August 7th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Right on! Far out! Up tight, outta sight, in the groove, on the move, gotta go, to the show, in the Moon, be back soon! Drop your socks, and grab your pencils. We will take notes. For all you who remember sweet bippies, raise your right hand. You . . . over there! The OTHER right hand. Be true to your school, just like you would to your girl or guy, be true to your school, and let your colors fly.
Flashbacks to my highschool days from a 50-teener. YOU do the math.
Way to go, Marti! Keep on truckin’!
How many y’all thought of any of this in ages?
August 8th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
“You can bet your sweet bippie!” OMG - My mom and I ALWAYS watched Laugh-In!!!!
August 8th, 2006 at 11:22 pm