Shhhhh………..
I’ve got a secret…….
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The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll
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Categories: Wordless-Wednesday, Memes
August 30, 2006
Posted by Marti @ August 25, 2006
Mensa Invitational
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit! and the person who doesn’t get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12.. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.! ): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Categories: Humor
August 23, 2006
Wordless Wednesday 10
This is Marti
This is Marti on Glucosamine
This is Miss Cellania’s computer
This is Miss Cellania’s computer on explosives*
I know just how it feels. We both got blown up. I am recovering though. The computer, I fear, will not.
*Some good ole boys in Kentucky celebrated Independence Day by launching computers with explosives and shooting them. She’s got video proof of what they did to her iMac. Go by and check it out!
It’s her first exclusive video!
Best wishes to all for a Wonderful Wordless Wednesday!
You don’t have to be a WW participant to comment!
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The Wordless Wednesday Blogroll
For information on joining the fun, and the getting the blogroll code, please go here.
Wordless Wednesday
Miss Cellania
Blow up computer
Categories: Wordless-Wednesday, Friends, Humor, Memes
August 20, 2006
SOB
I am proud to announce I am an S.O.B.!
Liz Strauss of Successful Blog was kind enough to bestow the honor of being a Successful Outstanding Blogger upon me, and do an interview with me to help promote my new book. Stop over and pay her a visit!
Be sure to take your coins for the bridge troll…LOL
Thank you so much darlin’!
I got REALLY sick last night, so I’m just getting up and about. It was the craziest thing…
Since I’ve broken so many of my bones, it seemed like a good idea to be taking a supplement. When will I learn that “good ideas” are not for me? LOL
I got a chewable version of Glucosamine Chondroitin and ate one. In less than an hour I started feeling sick. My throat felt tight and my right jaw started swelling up. By two hours later, the whole right side of my face was inflamed and throbbing. My right eye was watering like it was being given a private showing of Terms of Endearment.
I took some aspirin - didn’t help. I took some Aleve - didn’t help. My right eye swelled nearly shut. My cheek was invading my earlobe’s personal space.
The pain intensified. THROB! THROB!
I was thinking “S.O.B.” but not in reference to darlin’ Liz LOL
I began drinking gallons of water while looking up glucosamine adverse reactions on the internet (with my one good eye). It seems that in rare cases, it can cause the symptoms I had. That’s usually in people who have allergic reactions to shellfish, which I’ve never had, but we are talking about ME here LOL
If there is anyone on the planet who is going to develop a sudden freakish symptom, it will be yours truly. I kept drinking water to flush it out of my system, and finally found some old Vicaden and took one of them. That let me get some sleep (except for waking up ever two hours to pee LOL)
Still tender this morning.
Continuing to drink water (and pee - LOL) Ah oh, gotta go (literally)………..
August 17, 2006
Runnin’, Runnin’
Pzzzew…
What was that? Something just went whizzing by at just under the speed of light.
Oh, that was Marti. School starts today.
Just got the girl-child onto the bus. You know, the one the school newsletter said would leave the bus barn in ten minutes. C’mon, I didn’t get this old bein’ stoopid. LOL I’ve been puttin’ youngens on that bus for twenty years.
ME: “Come on girl! We have to drive down to the end of the driveway.”
GIRL: {{Still performing ablutions in the bathroom}} “It’s not time yet!”
ME: “Yes it is! Look at the clock!” (Note: This is the clock I set ahead four minutes, in preparation for this moment *snicker*. Clock manipulation is one of the many artifices in the prepared mother’s bag of tricks.)
GIRL: “Ack!”
ME: {{must not chuckle must not chuckle}}
GIRL: {{Dashing towards door}} “So let’s GO!”
Go we did. Slowly at first, until we reach the crest where we can see the street. The street where a big yellow rooftop lurks.
GIRL: “Ack! Go faster!”
We are already going 25 miles an hour down the gravel roadbed. If I speed up we will hit that last bump near the end of the driveway and launch OVER the bus, a la Dukes of Hazzard. Since I’m not wearing my cut-off short-shorts and a bandana printed shirt tyed jauntily under my breasts, I decline. We still managed to get her safely up the rubber-cleated steps. The driver grins and waves to me. A new year begins.
I return to the house to learn that…ACK! (A good “Ack“ LOL) I have been profiled on Third Age Blog by BlogHer featured speaker, Yvonne Divita!
Please swing over there and read the interview! Right now I have to go reset all of the clocks, the boy has to get up for work before long….LOL!
Hope all of you have a wonderful day! Thanks for stopping by!
