I’m on the highway to hell, with my name embossed on Satan’s saddle. LOL
Don’t EVER say to yourself, “Can things get any worse?”
The boy-who-bought-a-car-but-never-drove-it, finally took it into the shop for more repairs. The air conditioning didn’t work, and none of the electric windows worked, which essentially meant he owned a 4-wheeled sweat lodge.
The car battery that was in the vehicle when he purchased it, was older than the vehicle itself. Hell, I think it was older than the boy. Maybe older than the boy’s mother. It had the cranking power of a bucket of slugs.
The cables that connected to the battery were made of braided goat hair and chewing gum foil.
So while his car was in the shop (and the mechanic was planning his vacation from the profits of the repairs) the boy was still driving my car. Right into the ground.
He took it to run errands. He called. “Uh, Mom?” (Poor child still doesn’t recognize my voice after 20 years.) “Your car won’t start.”
Someone took pity on the six-foot-tall sweat bead pacing nervously in front of his mother’s dead car while the heat index hovered in the 120 degree range. They gave him a jump start. He came home, and put the battery charger on it.
Then {insert mother’s slow head shake} he said he was going to run an errand in town, but INSTEAD he picked a friend up and headed out on the interstate.
Then my phone rang again.
“Uh, Mom? The car quit running and we’re stranded on the freeway.”
Insert mother spewing expletives.
So off go Father, Sister and still-cursing mother, to ride to rescue. Insert stop at Walmart to purchase new battery. Insert new battery into car as 18-wheelers whistle by, inches away. Instruct boy to return home to death row.
Next day, drive boy to French Fry land. Pick boy up, stop at Walmart to turn in old car battery, get $7 core fee back. Return to car. Car won’t start. Get jump start from tire and lube guy. Drive boy to garage. He has opted for battery cable replacement as only repair, as air conditioner and/or electric window repairs cost more than what he paid for the car. Try to follow boy home - my car won’t start. Leave mother’s car at mechanic (who is now re- planning vacation).
Ride home with boy in 4-wheel sweat lodge.
Curse Fate, who instead of smiling on us, has hocked up a big ol’ loogie and spit on us.
Again.
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PS - On a brighter note (LOL)
I have a little post about being a writer over at Karen’s fabulous blog Write Stuff.
Posted by Marti @ 
Poor you. Poor son. Braided goat hair. HA!
There’s probably not much to be done for his car, but I think you should check the alternator on yours.
July 21st, 2006 at 7:43 am
Sounds like your son got a raw deal on that lemon…, er, car.
July 21st, 2006 at 9:34 am
They say there’s nothing like bought experience, but who is supposed to pay for it???
July 21st, 2006 at 9:54 am
Definitely sounds like an alternator problem. But poor boy, driving around in that hot car–does the blower at least work so he can circulate SOME air?!
July 21st, 2006 at 1:28 pm
As my dad used to say, our car had 4-60 AC. Which meant, all 4 windows down at 60 miles an hour.
Having a car with no AC sucks, but not as bad as not having heat in the winter. If all else, you can find an ice block to sit on.
I agree with the others…sounds like an alternator problem.
July 21st, 2006 at 4:03 pm
LMAO @ “Don’t ever say…” So freakin’ true! OMGawd! That was hilarious!
Um, yeah, sorry about the fate loogie. [heh] Hope your weekend improves. Thanks for stopping by today.
July 21st, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Surely more than one loogie is involved. Got to be multiple loogies. At least a dozen….
Do you clean up well?
July 21st, 2006 at 6:59 pm
I cant stop giggling while reading this. I suggest that your dear son should send a message or write a letter to MTV Pimped My Ride. I’ve seen cars that look like garbage that turns into gold after the makeover!
July 22nd, 2006 at 8:23 am
Dead batteries must be going around. My car died on me too, and I had to call my daughter to come rescue me. I think car mechanics are living pretty high on the hog these days due to your family and mine.
Have a nice weekend. Stay out of the sweat lodge if you can.
July 22nd, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I am so sorry to be laughing my gizzard, not to mention other valuable internal real estate, out at your misfortune.
However you MADE me do it.
July 23rd, 2006 at 9:53 am
Are we related????? My luck runs like all the time. “Braided goat hair.” I didn’t know trolls were into that type of stuff. Loved it, Marti.
July 23rd, 2006 at 1:36 pm
Hasn’t your son considered umm… attempting to offload this “car” in such a manner that he might get SOME of the money back? I mean… this hardly seems worth it.
Ugh… as to your car, it sounds like the alternator. Not that I’m a mechanic or anything, it’s just… that happened to me a few years ago.
Hope things get better soon. I mean… they have to. Right? Seriously, pumpkin season is just around the corner and you know how much you and I both love that season!!
)
July 26th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
I don’t think my comment took
So I’ll try again.
Your post made me laugh!
Thanks for coming by my blog.
Happy B-Day,
Frances
August 2nd, 2006 at 2:01 pm