Posted By Marti on May 13, 2012

I found this old file on my computer – have no idea where it came from but I thought it was funny to share today. Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Many many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
Who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a daughter
Who had lovely hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is now my mother’s mom
And it surely makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

Category: Humor, Jokes | 2 Comments »

Posted By Marti on April 24, 2012

Hello dear readers!

Things have been quite hectic around here and my mind is filled with many things, but not a one of them is a good blog post idea, so I am giving you an “encore performance” (sounds so much nicer than “re-run” huh?) This story is from many years ago (2006) but it still makes me smile, so I hope it will give you a chuckle as well!

there was a boy who had a

cat named Brownie.

Brownie is a happy cat.

They live on a pumpkin farm.

There are lots of other cats to play with.

But Brownie likes to play with the boy.

One day, the boy went to play with his people friends.

He took his very big dancing pad with him.

He put it in the trunk of the car and went back in his house for a game

to play with his very big dance pad.

He went back outside and slammed the trunk shut.

Then he drove away.

He had traveled through the woods only a little ways, when he heard a noise.

“What could that be?” he wondered.

He drove back through the woods to his house.

He opened the trunk of the car.

Brownie was on his dance pad.

But Brownie was not dancing.

Brownie was not happy.

Brownie leapt out of the trunk onto the boy and held on tightly.

The boy came inside his house and made his mommy laugh.

He was wearing a cat.

His mommy is still laughing, and had to tell all of her friends.

Category: Family, Humor | No Comments »

Posted By Marti on March 10, 2012

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth, and it was good. (Not great, because the Internet hadn’t been invented yet ).

Then came beasts and mankind and one begot another and another (hopefully not with each other). The earth became populated, mankind made many advancements, and the Mayans told us this will be our last year on earth (or not, since they didn’t figure in leap year adding a day every four years, so technically the day they predicted has already passed – for reals! We’re not gonna die!)

And lo, it came to pass that the lesser gods, the Timekeepers, looked upon the system of calendars and clocks and all manner of ways of making us late, and said, “Behold! We are going to upend the current method, for although it has served us for centuries, we want to make things just a tad bit more difficult for mere mortals.”

And thus, they invented Daylight Saving Time. (Yes, I know many use the plural, but apparently, that is wrong.)

Daylight did not realize it needed saving, and the Earth continued to rotate at the same speed, and the length of time the sunlight shone did not vary, but the great and powerful Timekeepers would not be silenced and henceforth, the hour of the rising of the sun was changed.

A great darkness spread across the land, and many gnashed their teeth and rended their garments, all for naught.

And Standard Time became frightened, and muttered to itself, “Yea though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of Daylight Saving Time, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Plus I know that come the first Sunday in November, I shall reign again!”

So verily I say unto you, heed the Timekeepers (unless you live in Hawaii, Arizona and the Midway Islands and Wake Island, which do not observe daylight saving time) or thou willst find thyself late for thine appointed rounds. Or at the very least you’ll miss something interesting on the Internet.

Category: Humor, Special Days | 3 Comments »