Posted By Marti on March 26, 2014
I smell the blood of an angry mom.
The gremlins got me. The little boogers attacked the device that delivers the internet through some sort of magic that I do not fully understand. The device got hot. Not in a good “Oh that’s hawt” kind of way, but in a “WARNING! BATTERY CRITICAL!” kind of way.
Then it died.
We use the internet a lot. There are youngsters who game on it, oldsters who read news on it and me, who pays the bills, orders medications and maintains her sanity by chatting with her friends on it.
Then it was gone.
The device is ancient in tech-years. Any device is outdated almost as soon as you take it out of the box, and our device was unboxed years ago. Were it a person it would be gray-haired,using a cane and wearing Depends. This meant it was not a simple replacement. But if we didn’t replace it with a similar device, our current plan would be lost and we would be thrown in to the hellish situation of data limits.
So we ordered a hard-to-find replacement. And waited. We were sad. We were angry. We pretty much went through the seven stages of grief.
1. SHOCK & DENIAL
I picked the device up at least a thousand times. Tried removing the battery and plugging it back in until my fingers bled. “It will work this time. Surely it will work,” I told myself. It did not.
2. PAIN & GUILT
WHY ME? Did I mistreat the device? Did it grow weary of such constant use? Could I have polished it or bought it a new cord to keep it happy?
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
Dammit, work you GDMFSOB! Please?
4. DEPRESSION, REFLECTION, LONELINESS
It’s never going to work. I will die here and no one will know because I have lost all connection with the outside world. I am alone.
5. THE UPWARD TURN
Say, there’s that book I’ve been meaning to read. Hey, it’s kind of nice to just watch the TV without feeling like I need to share my thoughts on Twitter or Facebook.
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
OK, it’s not the end of the universe. Nobody died.
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
The store called, the replacement will be here soon. I’m going to live! As God is my witness I will blog again!